An April Fool’s Day Joke

So on April Fool’s Day evening I came back from running errands and went to plug in my phone which had died and I was sure that I had lost it. I searched throlost cell2ugh every bag, including the ones I had delivered to others and tore apart my room and my purse to no avail. I was praying to St. Anthony to help me find my phone while I was searching, but I thought that I was going to have to pay for a replacement phone when I couldn’t cover the phone bill. I didn’t go to sleep until about 4a.m. just worrying about the monetary aspects of my situation.

The next morning when I got up I started to clean my room as I deep clean on Saturdays. I went to hang up my coat that I wore the day before and when it hung up against the closet door. I had a rush of hope. I checked my pockets for what felt like the millionth time and the pockets were empty. Despairing, I was still curious as to what caused the thud in my lightweight coat, so I ran my hands along the puffy body of the coat to find nothing. I went down the sleeves of the coat just for kicks and giggles and out pops my cell phone intact and functioning.

I believe that God answers prayers and that He just wanted to play an April Fool’s Day joke on me.

In case you ever lose something you might try saying this: (it usually works!)

St.Anthony, St. Anthony please come around!
There’s something’s that’s been lost and needs to be found!

Have a great day!



Eating Disorder Politics

Having an eating disorder is something that I never expected to have. It’s a shameful part of my life and I don’t normally talk about it except for #NEDAwareness week started last month. My first encounter with NEDA came when I was being treated inpatient for my co-morbid disorders of self injury and bipolar disorders. I was so happy that support was out there for people like me, but the positive support that I needed I found in these blogs and online groups from Facebook (sadly).

binge computerBinge eating disorder and eating disorder not otherwise specified disorders are just as scary of a diagnosis as anorexia, bulimia and in reality just as dangerous. While some people drive their weight dangerously low, just as other people feel that these binges will make them feel better, which in fact it does temporarily due to a release of endorphins. Check out the site  ( for more information on the endorphin release problem and it’s impact on BED and other disorders.

The study of endorphins would never have been started except for weeks like NEDAwareness week. #NEDAwareness week is about promoting awareness(duh!) AND getting help before your life is seriously impacted by an eating disorder. What many people don’t know about promoting awareness is that NEDA promotes awareness and money into the circles of research communities to find out what they can find out more in depth details that previously were myths and link other things to eating disorders such as cutting and hypertension, but other more delicate things like “a complex interaction of genetic, biological, behavioral, psychological, and social factors. Researchers are using the latest technology and science to better understand eating disorders.”(

But in the midst of this more and more people are suffering from rich and pooreating disorders. And it doesn’t discriminate. It can “hit” the richest to the poorest the only difference is access to treatment modalities and the amount of discrimination he/she will face.

The biggest obstacle that any person with an eating disorder faces is paying for treatment of any sort. If you want to get help you have to convince the insurance company that you’re sick enough to go (Or even have an eating disorder to begin with). The singular fact that “Eating disorders are a daily struggle for 10 million females and 1 million males in the United States” ( means that eating disorders are a lot more common than we as a society would like to think.

Only one third of individuals struggling with anorexia nervosa in the United States obtain treatment.Of those practicing bulimia, only 6% obtain treatment.

With this obstacle many people go untreated and die as a resort. Yes, I said DIE. There was a bill introduced to the 111th Congress in 2009 that if enacted would ensure that all insurance companies provide eating disorder coverage of some sort and you know what? It is still stuck in a House means and ways committee. Gee thanks! This bill  called FREED Act standing for Federal Response to Eliminating Eating Disorders. It covers everything from adding education about eating disorders in schools to more research on eating disorders and making sure that every person is allowed equal opportunity to go to treatments (paying co-pays, co-insurances, stuff like that) as long as the person is deemed psychiatrically  necessary to be in treatment. Not medically necessary as it is now because an eating disorder is a mental illness and needs to be evaluated according to APA standards not AMA

While we have ensured that every person in America has access to health insurance why don’t we tell Congress what it means to have LIMITED coverage to the right kind of insurance! Here is the link to find your House of Representatives email address:

Let’s get the full healthcare we deserve!

Have a great day!



Invisible Monster lurking!

I came home from the Dr.’s office and was so angry with myself. I had gained 4 1/2 pounds when I had been trying so hard to lose weight! I have to go back in 4 weeks and I am thinking to myself I will lose more weight by then! Then the sneaky silent inner voice of my eating disorder comes in and says it doesn’t matter…you won’t lose that weight anyway.

I stopped at the snack machines and loaded up there for the peace and quiet of my room when my friend called and asked if she could pick me up something from the store and I said “sure!”



As soon as my friend got back from the store she showed me what she’d gotten me. All I was interested in was the ice cream and finishing my binge in secret. So, one pint of ice cream, two pop tarts, two small bags of SmartPop(trying to be healthy lol) and a lunchable later I was “done”. Then I left to have dinner with friends at our favorite spot and ate a full meal there.

I went home for the night feeling really guilty and ready to do anything to get rid of the feelings I was having. I knew better than to do this again, I am sure of it. I know the tools, the symptoms, all of it yet I am still struggling to control my binging.

Now several days later I look back and see where I could have changed courses and I am trying to accept that I am not a horrible person for doing what I did, but knowing I can become a better person when I work towards eating disorder recovery, not binging and indulging in the person I want to become.
It does behoove me to mention that I didn’t break my Lenten fast from SODA!! I didn’t think I would last a day, but now I am on day 15. YAY!~ At least there is something in my life right now to celebrate. 🙂

Have a great day!

My Mission

It is the beginning of what promises to be a good thing. My name is Lyndsay and I am a no nonsense, balanced with compassion type of woman. I am on the bigger side of plus size (I tend to think of it as the real plus size) and have been my whole life. I started my first diet at 5 years old with my Mom starting me on it.

I have a passion for many things starting with correcting society’s belief that people who are plus size are lazy or incompetent and uneducated. It is my hope through this blog to educate people (and be educated!) about the ins and outs of the plus size world and how the people in mainstream media and fashion lines need to include this growing part of the population in their clothing lines and in their business planning.

I will be talking about everything…politics to religion to fashion. Nothing is too much for me….well maybe calculus.  All aboard for a wild ride!